It's Already September? - Old Orchard Beach

Oh boy. It's been a fun week, despite the looming dread of it being the last week of summer before school starts up again. I've been constantly trying to decide if I miss Texas or not, and I think I've finally come to the conclusion that I don't. The heat was nice while I was there (and in comparison the 80 degree New Hampshire days seem downright FREEZING) but the freedom to go out during the day and not roast or break out into a full-body sweat is kind of nice. Plus, I really missed my family and my house and how absolutely green everything is! The ground, the trees, the plants, the bushes, the food! Even the pond water! (Ew.) I do miss the pool though. Oh man, do I miss that pool.

Monday I had a muffin and some homemade juice for breakfast, then went out to pick up Jordan! It was the first time seeing her all summer, so that was pretty great. We picked up some chia seeds at the Local Grocer, which is a health food store a few miles from her house, and then headed back to my house. After a delicious lunch of grilled cheese on Italian bread with some yummy salad, we went for a walk around the neighborhood. We watched Take Me Home Tonight which is a really hilarious movie with Topher Grace (whom I absolutely L-O-V-E) and we got to see our friend Kelsie who left for college the day after. It was a bittersweet reunion if there ever was one. Also on the itinerary: ice cream! We drove down to the Sandwich Creamery where they sell organic ice cream made right on their farm. I got banana pancake flavor because it sounded kind of odd, but it was delicious! (and for dinner - organic hot dogs and corn on the cob, just for future reference)

Tuesday was just as fun. I started my morning with a 6-1-6-1-6-1-6, which is part of a program where beginning runners train for a half-marathon. Basically all the '6's indicate six minutes of walking, where all the '1's indicate one minute of jogging. All in all I was out for half an hour, which gave me lots of energy for the rest of the day. After having the best strawberry-chia-peach-protein shake ever, Hannah and I (whom I was also seeing for the first time in two months) walked around town a bit, and spent about an hour or two in the library. I found Demetri Martin's book "This Is A Book". I'm about halfway through, and let me tell you it is pretty hilarious. I'm not usually one for comedy, but it's great. Hannah and I had our usual sit-in-my-kitchen-and-just-talk for two hours, then walked down to the beach and laid out on the docks for a bit. When we got hungry, we went back home and made the same lunch that I had on Monday (because it was just that good).

Wednesday I was feeling all out of sorts and also quite broke, so I just went to work on the farm with my mom. It was such a nice day, hanging out with her and all the great people at the museum. We went on an herbal walk where we learned about some healing plants, and then just walked around the buildings and tidied up what need to be tidied up! Dinner was my own delicious concoction: cheese quesadillas with peppers and onions, topped with avocado, left-over corn, and all-natural salsa. Nom nom nom. It was a nice prequel to Thursday, when my mom and I went shopping at TJ Maxx and I picked up some adorable clothes for school. I always cherish the days that we get to spend together, just the two of us, because they are so few and far between. She is seriously my favorite person in the whole world. For lunch we had D'angelo's turkey and veggie wraps, which were delicious but so filling, and for dinner we made more homemade spaghetti and sauce with chicken sausage, which we made because we watched a TEDTalk talking about holistic ways of preventing cancer growth through consumption of antiangiogenic foods like tomatoes.

Friday may very well have been the best day of the week. After some vanilla organic cereal with rice milk, I packed some granola, banana chips, sunflower seeds, and blackberries, and picked up Jordan for our beach day!!



We drove down to Scarborough, Maine and went to Old Orchard Beach. I love everything about OOB. I mean, the small-town feel of the streets around it, the big sandy beach, the pier with all the cute shops, the carnival, the cute guys....

We sat on the beach for about an hour, despite the lack of sun. I just love the atmosphere of a beach - it's so lighthearted and fun and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. Plus, it's always great hearing the multitude of languages being spoken.

After we got a little sandy and a little bored, we walked around the streets and grabbed a plate of french fries - which I know are not exactly "healthy", but man, they smelled just like fair food and I couldn't resist. We walked through the somewhat-deserted somewhat-creepy carnival for while, trying (and failing) to stare at the cute carnival workers as discreetly as possible.

Once the fries were gone, we opted for some mint chocolate chip Gifford's ice cream over the fried dough that we were both craving. I don't know how much healthier ice cream is, but probably not much. (Oh well, everyone gets a break in their diet sometimes, right?) Then we made another round through the carnival, because hey - why not stare at the cuties some more?

Overall, I had so much fun. I just love the ocean and how a couple hour drive can take you somewhere that'll make your whole day feel like a vacation. I'm seriously considering going back next weekend, especially if it's sunny. 

And now it's already Saturday, and already September, and already my last weekend before senior year. I decided to refocus my healthy food choices now that it's September, since my ambition kind of faded by the end of the week. For breakfast I decided on some all-natural cereal of some type or another, with a banana and a nectarine chopped up on top. I took some decaf earl grey tea with me when the parents and I went down to the local farmer's market - which is absolutely fabulous. So many local farmers (duh) with fruits and veggies and freshly baked bread and homemade cheese and their own breakfast sausage and even some raw milk (which is supposed to be super healthy in terms of probiotics and nutrients, but it still grosses me out). 

My plans for the rest of the day include reading "The Night Circus", which is such an amazing book, and some sun bathing. Maybe baking, I haven't decided. This month I am looking forward to:

• the leaves changing color, if they choose to do so before October this year. The different colors of the leaves make for great pictures.
• the beginning of fall! It's my favorite season by far.
• starting my senior year of high school, filling out college applications, *hopefully* having an easy homework load this year
• seeing all of my friends again!
• making apple muffins and pumpkin bread and all those classic fall staples
• continuing with my all-natural healthy diet. My goal: to learn about which foods have which nutrients so that I can load up one what my body needs and also find out what my diet is lacking.

What are you looking forward to this month?

Home again, home again.

Wow. I'm still kind of shocked. After being away from my home and my parents for more than two full months, to finally be home and sleeping in my bed and having family dinner again is wild.

Yesterday was my last day with my aunt and uncle. Friday night we weighed my luggage (which weighed in at 75 lbs - just a tad too heavy! Whoops!) and did a lot of last minute rearranging so that I could get through security all right. We went for our last evening walk and had our last ice cream sandwiches and watched our last bit of TV. It was a really nice evening that we got to spend together, and I'm sure we'll be doing it again sometime, but for now it feels like an ending.

Yesterday we were up bright and early (and by that I mean BEFORE the sun...ugh, reminds me that school is coming). After a  night of little to no sleep, I slept the entire three hour drive to San Antonio and woke up feeling much more refreshed. We hauled my bags off to the baggage claim and then just stood around outside security, not knowing what to say but not wanting to say goodbye. Eventually we shared some tearful hugs and I headed off to security all by myself.

It was my first time flying alone. Scary, right? I got through security fine, even with my backpack stuffed to the gills and my "personal item" (aka carry-on number two) practically spilling over with all my crap. I had to do some quick rearranging when we finally boarded because my backpack wouldn't fit under the seat OR in the over-head compartment. Is it just me or are planes getting smaller and smaller?

Unfortunately I didn't manage to take any pictures, but our ascent was amazing. I have flown a few times before with friends and family, but I always forget how breathtaking it is to be at the same level as the clouds and see how smooth they are underneath and then how chaotic and fluffy they can be on top. It was quite a site and for most of the flight I just sat, completely breath-taken, staring at the clouds.

I had a 50 minute layover in Detroit, which was uneventful. I ate some of the blueberry muffin that had gotten squished in my bag, and talked to my parents for quite awhile. Finally it was time for the last leg of the flight! It was a short one - only about an hour and a half from Detroit to Manchester, and luckily I  was seated next to a cute Asian boy about my age to keep things interesting (although he did sleep the whole way...shows how good company I am). Before I knew it the day was over and I was ready to see my parents!!!


Although they weren't there. Seriously. I got off the plane, a huge smile on my face, ready to run into their waiting arms...and they were nowhere in sight. So I called my mom. Here's how that conversation went:

Mom: What?
Me: Mom? Uh...yeah, we just landed. Where the heck are you?
Mom: I'm - oops - I'm in the bathroom - I'm about to pee myself okay callmebacklaterbye.

My mother is crazy. I waited, practically in hysterics, until I saw her come rushing out of the bathroom towards the baggage claim, afraid she missed me or something. Anyways, we hugged and laughed and brought my stuff out to where my dad was waiting in the parking lot, at which point there were more hugs. Because all of use were starving we went out to dinner at Bugaboo Creek, which is by far the most classically woodsy-type restaurant ever. We're talking singing moose heads and stuffed fish on the walls. I mean this place just screamed "hick town". Ohhh New Hampshire...gotta love it.

By the time we got home it was nearly midnight, which wouldn't have seemed so late if I wasn't running on two hours of sleep in the last 24 hours. My dog (who looked so tiny and fat and potato-shaped compared to the lean, mean, fighting machine basenji that I was used to seeing) was so excited to see me, which was pretty endearing - even though he's already over that and back to ignoring me. I can't even describe to you how nice it felt coming home. Everything seemed cuter and more quaint and warmer and safer and I just wanted to lie down in my (uncomfortable) bed and never leave.

Looking back, I can say that this summer was the most life-changing summers I've ever had. While the internship at my aunt's private practice was great, it was nothing compared to the experience I got living with her. By being away from home and the protection of my parents, I was able to become more independent. By not having anyone to tell me what I should and shouldn't do, I became more responsible. By always trying to be on my best behavior, I became more mature and polite. By being surrounded by such loving and happy people, I became more loving and happy. By being away from home and the people I love, I became more grateful for what I have. I know that I benefitted from this experience in more ways than I can even imagine right now, but I can say this: I wouldn't change a thing.

Last Day of Work

This is what it’s all been leading up to: my last day of work for the summer.

Backstory: I’m not known for trying new things. I always make these wild plans or have brilliant ideas, but then when it comes time to making the commitment, I back out. In most cases, I think it’s because I don’t like being in situations with no ‘escape’. Example: the summer camp my mom used to work at (and my home for four fun summers) has a program where you can sign up to go on a bike trip from New Hampshire to Nova Scotia with a bunch of other teenagers. The entire trip sounds absolutely phenomenal – bonding with other high schoolers, getting in shape, seeing new places up close and personal, and of course it’s an incredible experience! However for two years in a row I got the paperwork, sat down to fill it out…and froze. It was one of the ‘commitment’-type situations that scared me. If I decided after three days that I was miserable and my legs hurt and it was all a stupid idea, there was no opting out. I was roped in for a two week experience that I had no idea if I would like and down five-thousand bucks.

Not going on that trip is something I regret, and so this summer I decided I would take a chance, and get into one of those ‘commitment’-type situations I was oh so fond of. When my aunt, who is a licensed clinical psychologist, invited me to be her personal intern for the summer, I decided it was time to step out of my comfort zone. The second week of July, my parents and I loaded up the car and made the three-day drive from New Hampshire to western Texas.

And that’s where I’ve been for the last two months – and not with my parents (they basically dropped me off and left to go have their own little road trip without me…jerks). I’ve been living with my thirty-something aunt and her husband, and their psychotic Basenji. We weekended in Austin, where I got to check out the UT campus, and we went down to El Paso which is right on the Mexican border (an interesting peek at a very different culture). They even took me on a trip to Flagstaff, Arizona, where we stayed for a week. I instantly fell in love. It was such a cute college town (home to Northern Arizona University) with brick sidewalks, outdoor cafés, used bookstores, bike paths, live outdoor music, and plenty of college-aged hippies looking for a high. The even greater appeal, however, was the geography. Surrounding Flagstaff on all sides were trees and forests (just like home ), and beyond that, mountains and canyons. All the greatest things about nature were no more than twenty miles out of town. Not to mention, just a half-hour drive away was the Grand Canyon!








Okay, sorry, enough gushing about Arizona. Once the initial excitement of being away from home wore off and we settled into our basic routine of working four hours a day, followed by a dip in the pool and an evening spent lazily on the couch watching television, I realized I was painfully homesick. Getting past that was no small feat, and involved lots of video chats (thank God for FaceTime) and more than a few angsty conversations with my best friend. Luckily our weekends spent rotting on the sofa in our pajamas watching scary movies – while not at all good for my health – provided a nice escape from my worrying.

Now, it’s been eight or nine or eleven weeks of living in the Texas heat (avg daily temp – 106) and there’s only one week before I fly home. How scary is that? My experience as an intern in private practice has surpassed my expectations (not hard, seeing as I didn’t have any). Most of the work I’ve been doing involves scanning and filing patient charts and converting a mainly paper-centered office into all digital files. What I found most interesting (and yes, call me nosy) was reading patient charts. Their progress notes, seeing the actual WAIS-IV or BASC-2 tests, the extensive amount of paper work, seeing the various diagnoses – it was nothing like what I imagined, and it really showed my what clinical therapy really is (and no, it isn’t just asking the patient how they feel while they lie on a big leather couch…although she *does* have one of those…).

Something I definitely wasn’t expecting to see was the business side of psychology. Essentially, a private practice is a business, and that means paying rent, paying electrical bills, broken air conditioners, filling receipts, keeping track of expenses, and dealing with insurance. No offense insurance companies, but you suck. Sometimes patient claims get paid the day after their filed (meaning they pay for the patient’s session), and sometimes it takes upwards of 90 days. My aunt has actually been treating someone with serious depression and adjustment disorder for over a year now, and still hasn’t gotten paid for a single session. Oh, and don’t even get me started on co-pays…

Currently, I am sitting at my small make-shift desk in the room adjoining my aunt’s office, doing what I have been doing for about a week now – pretending to look busy while surfing the internet. Although really, isn’t that what everyone does at work? I’ve spent a lot of today thinking about this summer and how it wasn’t what I expected. I guess that’s both good and bad, depending on how you look at it. I may not have had an wildly exciting summer before senior year with my friends at the beach, and instead spent it watching tv halfway across the country, but I did something that I wasn’t comfortable with and despite the personal setbacks I did survive a full two and a half months of commitment, to my aunt and to myself. Even though I was living with family, it was no small step. I lived in a different time zone, in a different culture, in an environment that was mostly foreign to me, unable to go home or visit my parents once (not that I didn’t try to get them to spend an extra $400 on a plane ticket so I could come home early). I proved to myself that I can handle commitment, and almost more importantly, I can handle being in a situation with no easy ‘escape’. Yeah, I’m pretty proud.

(Oh, and the fact that this internship will look like a gold star on my college application – just a bonus!)